Volatile -Phan-
by kittyxuchiha11
Summary: Precisely one year ago, a virus wrought havoc across planet earth. Named for the fever that marks the onset of the sickness, Pyrexia transforms its victims into mindless beings trapped somewhere between death and hell. Out of the six that remain; two are sickly, three moderately healthy, living only for the sake of the others, and the last slowly spiralling into insanity.
1. Chapter 1

Precisely one year ago, a virus wrought havoc across planet earth. Named for the fever that marks the onset of the sickness, Pyrexia transforms its victims into mindless beings trapped somewhere between death and hell - passing on didn't end their suffering, merely prolonged it. The un-dead have since roamed the earth, hunting mercilessly for any warm blooded thing they can get their hands on, ripping people - and lives, apart as they go.

The year is 2021. Less than half the world's population remains. Those who've survived this long now face the task of not only battling the dead outside their doors, but, as rebuilding becomes more and more of a priority, having to beware the living they're sharing shelter with, as well.

As the nights get longer and the days grow shorter, they soon realize that supplies are running low and chances of survival are decreasing.

All but three seem to have given up, the weak dying from lack of nutrition - or maybe from the cold, only to be brought back and create more problems. Out of the six that remain; two are sickly, three moderately healthy, living only for the sake of the others, and the last slowly spiralling into insanity.

-Five months earlier.-

Phil's POV

I'm scared.

I hate to admit it, but I'm honestly, truly terrified. The disease is spreading, it's rumoured to be dangerously close. I've believed for the longest time that it wouldn't reach us. That we would be okay. I mean, we're nearly halfway through the year and there have been no signs of it anywhere. I thought that maybe, just maybe, we were safe.

I was wrong.

It started earlier this month, the number of deaths increasing. Yet, we couldn't figure out why. Death of old age is common, yes, but there were just as many young children dying as there are elders - and everywhere in between.

Dan seems to be doing alright, but I'm worried. He's okay. I'm okay. For the moment, at least, we're both okay. I refuse to believe that we're going to be anything but okay. I refuse to believe this is happening.

I refuse to die.

Dan's POV

Everyone is dying.

At first, like everyone else, I believed this was just some normal sort of disease thing. You know, the kind you hear those news reporters ranting on about being so deadly that everyone's going to die from it. They never do though, a few people die. Big deal, nothing special. I soon realized this was more than I thought it was. People of all ages were dying, all over country. That's when I realized;

We are all going to die from this.

There's nothing we can do, is there? Absolutely nothing. The worst part is, all I can do is sit here and listen to it all. Another twelve dead here, another thirty dead there. I can't do anything. Everyone's dying, and I'm completely helpless.


	2. Chapter 2

Phil's POV

I haven't talked to Dan in three days.

Why?

Well, one; he's locked himself in his bedroom, and two; I think he's scared, too, but he's not letting me help him. I'm starting to think that the news of the disease being so sudden is getting to him. It's everywhere, and people are just now choosing to take action.

The first time that we were forced to face the reality was, in fact, three days ago.

We were watching TV together – that's something that friends do together, right? This was quite a bit different, though. Weird.

The sun was setting. He and I sat in a comfortable silence – then it happened.

Emergency broadcast. All channels were switched over to the news. The woman standing in front of the camera was scared, that was obvious. She was hunched over, her arms wrapped around herself, her expression emotionless but her eyes were wide and pleading. She had to be at least thirty – but in her current state, she appeared much older. She spoke quietly, but not too quiet. Everything was heard clearly, but I'm sure that neither of us wanted to hear. But we had to.

She explained the situation, the disease and it's effects, and that there were safe and secure places for anyone who needed them.

That's when he 'snapped', I guess. He hasn't spoken to me since.

Dan's POV

I don't want this. I don't want any of this.

Why does it have to be like this? Everyone dying? I can't take this. Everyone was fine, and now suddenly, this. I've been here like this for three days now. Locked in this room, silently sobbing. No one else can hear. No one can know how weak I am. I'm supposed to be strong. Strong enough to help everyone else. But I'm not.

I can't do this, the pain. The mental pain of all this, constantly thrashing at my mind.

You're going to die, you're going to die, you're going to die

NO! I will not die. I'll live on. Even if it means I'll have to live in this mind set. Constantly living in fear of every little thing around me.

I shouldn't even be this scared, should I? It's only an disease. An horrible, nasty, killer disease. That doesn't matter. I'll be fine. We'll be fine. All of us. I won't die. I won't let any of them die. I'll protect them. And Phil, my precious Phil. I'll die before I'll let anything have you.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. I flinched slightly as I looked towards the light coming from above the door. I guess I better go see him. I don't want Phil to think I hate him. I slowly stumbled off the bed and grasped the door handle. "Phil?" I whispered softly, slowly unlocking the door. "Phil?" I asked again, making my way slowly through the now open door and looking around. "..Phil?" I soon realized, he wasn't there. Where the hell could he be? "Phil?" I called a little louder, now looking around more frantically "Phil!?" was he? No. he couldn't be "PHIL!"


	3. Chapter 3

Phil's POV

I had sat in the same spot in the same room practically all day – actually, more like the entire time I hadn't seen Dan. So, I decided to take a walk. Possibly clear my mind.

About an hour into walking, I realized that I forgot to tell Dan that I was leaving.

I hadn't expected him to come out of his room, so I wasn't /that/ worried. I just kept walking. I didn't even expect to go anywhere, but turns out that if I didn't, I wouldn't have realized the actual seriousness of the disease. I mean, I've /heard/ of the deaths, and I know that it's been happening, but once you witness it.. it becomes very real.

That's when I finally accepted it – we were going to die.

The leaves on the trees, even though it was only mid-July, were starting to wither away and fall to the ground.

This wasn't normal, to say the least.

The usually populated streets now feel deserted. There are a few common faces, but they don't look at me. It's almost like they can't, but I don't pay much attention. My head is tilted down, my hands shoved into my pockets when I hear a scream. I freeze, and slowly look over my shoulder even though the sound is distant, to see the small amount of people carrying on as if the sound never happened.

I continue walking, masking the fact that I can barely keep myself from running from the scene. It's all too unnerving.

I make a sharp turn, and I notice a group of children. A tired-looking man towers over them.

I think he's their father.

They look like a family.

I close my eyes, and continue walking past them. The children mumble, they're all relatively young. Well below teenagers.

I pass. Then I hear gasps. I turn. I see one child, a boy, laying on the ground. He isn't moving. Well, now that I think of it, he was twitching a bit. Another scream is heard from a girl, in the group. Appears to be the younger sister. The broken family crowds around him.

I can't stand this.

I run.

I arrive. I'm breathless and tired, but I made it. I'm shaking.

Cautiously, I open the creaky door. I enter. The first thing I notice:

Dan.

Dan's POV

I sat there in the middle of the room, curled up in a tight ball while I sobbed silently

Be strong, be strong, be strong

Everything is fine, everything will be okay. But it isn't, I'm going to die.

Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!

I flinch as I hear the creaky door. Is this it? am I going to die now? I reluctantly look up, not sure if I want to see what's going on.

There he is, my Phil

"…Phil" I whimper quietly, trying to hold back the tears I know are threatening to fall

Be strong

I slowly uncurl myself from my protective position and reach out a shaking hand towards him "Phil?" I repeat slowly, terrified I'm seeing things. I try to crawl towards him but my legs give out. I slump to the floor, biting my lip harshly as I try to keep my eyes locked on him.

Be strong, don't let him see your weakness

I struggle towards him, managing to summon enough strength to pick myself up and stagger towards him. The moment I reach him, I collapse into his arms, hugging him tightly, never wanting to let go again. "Phil…Phil…Phil…" I sob softly. The tears are already pouring down my face. I can't stop them.

You can't be strong, you're weak. You always will be


	4. Chapter 4

Phil's POV

For a moment, I'm confused. But I soon collect my thoughts and wrap my arms around him, choosing to try to push away the horrible image of what happened earlier.

I can't help but to think - will the same happen to us? Is there any hope? What about the family? Even if they weren't a family at all, a group of shattered friends, maybe even occasional acquaintances; what does their future look like? What about the boy? The girl?

My head hurts.

I can't ignore this any longer.

I lead us both to the sofa. I sat first, motioning for him to lean on me. He did. I returned my arms protectively around him. I didn't know what to say, so I just blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

I know what you're thinking; it's going to be 'I love you'.

I wish.

What I said was far from it.

"I think I just saw someone die."

Dan's POV

So he lead us over to the sofa, and we sit. He wraps his arms around me, and for the first time in a while, I feel safe. I just sit there, my eyes closed as I begin to relax. I feel so safe with him, why did I ever think keeping myself away from him would help?

I'm broken out of my thoughts by Phil saying the few combination of words I really didn't want to hear.

"I think I just saw someone die"

My eyes shot open as I look up at him fearfully. He saw that? Someone die? No. he couldn't have gone far in that time so, oh god. It was close. We are all going to die

"you saw someone…" I ask in a tiny voice, not wanting to say the last word. I try to keep my voice steady but I fail. The horror in my voice can easily be heard. What happened to being strong? Of course, that's all gone now. All that's left is just pathetic, weak Dan.

He just nodded and looked to the corner of the room, focusing on the slowly decaying wall. "It was a child" he said softly, tightening his grip around me then looking down to his hand that lay in his lap. I noticed he made a fist with the hand he was looking at, an expression I couldn't quite place worn of his face. "only a boy" the words came out as more of a strangled whisper than anything else. I quickly wrapped an arm around his waist and hid my face in his chest. Only a child. A little boy's life taken, just like that. I began to sob softly again as I squeezed him tightly.

We were next weren't we?

I knew it was going to happen. We were all going to die and there was nothing we could so about it.


	5. Chapter 5

Phil's POV

One month.

A lot can happen in a month, some of which I wish never happened at all.

But there's nothing I can do about it, right?

Exactly.

Please, let me start from the beginning.

I took a walk. I witnessed death. It's already been told what happens from there, but there's more.

So much more.

I shouldn't have gotten that close to the children. They all were sick.

I'm sick.

I caught it.

We didn't know.

Until-

Until the one eventful afternoon. July 28th.

Turns out that scientists and doctors alike were working together in attempt to find a cure. They had spent much time on it - and they got it.

Or so, they thought they did.

During this time, London was being thoroughly searched. For any trace of the disease, of course.

In total - 8,394 deaths.

This was only the start.

Dan was beginning to notice that I was loosing energy, and that I had frequent headaches.

We thought nothing of it.

The inspectors were searching our apartment building when they reached it. The sun was setting, again, casting a shadow on everything. They found nothing in others' homes, but then they reached our door. I hesitantly let them inside.

They ran various tests on the both of us, anywhere from scanning fingerprints to a drop of blood.

That's when they told me.

They said it was much too late, the disease had been slowly killing me the entire time I had it. Dan, miraculously, hadn't caught it, despite the odds. They said that, even with the cure, there was only a slight chance that I would survive.

I took that chance.

I was taken to a hospital, but it appeared to be more like a mental asylum. I hated it. I was in a room, completely alone. Any time someone came in the room, they were heavily covered, and they never got too close to me.

No one spoke to me, just gave me more and more medication.

I wasn't allowed visitors.

I was there until mid-August, when they finally let me out. They dubbed me cured.

When I arrived home, I was hugged. Kissed. Told that I was loved.

And, believing that I was completely cured, I said it back.

I meant it, but I just wanted more time.

This brings us to now.

Chris and Peej are here. I think they'll be here for a while - I hope they will. I mean, they've been staying with as for, at least, two weeks now.

I think things are going alright.

One thing I noticed, though - Dan hasn't been talking. At first, I shrugged it off. Times are stressful, I know that, but I don't think I've heard his voice for a few days.

The four of us are in the lounge, Dan laid out on the sofa, me sat on the floor beside him, Chris asleep and on PJ's lap, and PJ sitting diagonal from me.

The silence is overwhelming.

I finally speak.

"Dan?"

Dan's POV

Darkness

It surrounds me. I'm scared, so scared

When Phil had been returned to me after such a long time. I was happy, of course. He would be all better now, this wasn't as bas as it seemed. Or so I thought. We were safe, but everyone else was still dying.

I'm not sleeping, it's impossible to. All I can think of is all the people dying, while I'm sitting here doing nothing. You would think everything would be okay by now. It's not, it's really not. It's getting worse. And having Phil taken away, although it was only for a short time, made me realize: everyone I care for is going to die.

You know, sometimes when I'm lying awake, I hear this little voice. It scared me the first time I heard it. I thought it was something bad. But no. it's here to help. It tells me it's okay, that everything will be alright. I believe it as well.

So things have turned out that Chris and PJ are living with us now. They've been here for… honestly I've lost track of the days. But I don't think they've been here for not that long. We're currently sitting in the lounge. I was completely lost in my thoughts, that little voice trying to talk to me. Of course, I didn't talk back to it. Well, not out loud anyway. Then I'm broken out of my little trance by Phil's voice.

"Dan?"

I turn to look at him, tilting my head slightly instead of actually using words. I don't think I've actually spoken to him in a while actually. Then again, why would I? we don't need to speak, he knows I'm listening, so why speak?. He gives me a concerned look and I realize I've gone of in a little day dream again. I open my mouth, attempting to make some sort of word come out.

"yes?"

It comes in in a small cracked whisper, not what I had wanted at all. I guess I really hadn't talked in that long.

"what is it?" I ask, my voice actually co-operating with me. He looks thoughtful for a few seconds then looks into my eyes.

"I love you"

He smiles at me gently, leaning back slightly so his head touches my hand.

"tell him you love him back then"

There's that little voice again. See it's helpful. It reminds me what I'm supposed to be doing. It's not bad. Of course I haven't told the others about the voice. They would think I'm crazy, but I'm not crazy.

"I love you too"


	6. Chapter 6

Phil's POV

I've been distracting myself with books.

It's starting to get colder, too, but not by much.

The sudden transition from a slightly hot summer to an obnoxiously way-too-humid-to-function autumn is one of the only things I can think of at the moment.

Well, that, my collection of unread books, the disease, the current death count, and Dan.

He's on my mind a lot. I wonder if he knows that.

I've been wearing my glasses a lot more, since I started reading again. Can't be bothered to put in contacts, too lazy. The satisfying sound of another page turning is the only thing I can hear.

The rest of them are sleeping. It's around two AM, so that's a bit expected. A dim light is on, only because of the book in my hands. I don't think they would mind.

Harry Potter. Re-reading the Deathly Hallows. I've lost count of how many times I've been though it, but I love it nonetheless.

Page 475. Page 476.

'"Dobby, no, don't die, don't die-"'

I continue reading, a lump forming in my throat.

'"Harry... Potter..."'

I finish reading the last words of the chapter before glancing up from the book. Everything feels off by a few seconds. I sigh, looking down at the book once more, scanning my eyes over the first few words of the chapter following the one before, when a sudden sound makes me jump.

A knock.

Who the hell could be knocking on our door in the middle of the night?

Dan's POV

A noise

That's what has woken me up, well i think it's woken me up. I can't tell between what is a dream and what is reality anymore, hell, I don't even know if i was sleeping. i slowly crawl out of bed and make my way into the hall way to see Phil standing with the door open. I'm surprised at what i see.

Jack and Dean are standing there, well Jack is, Dean is sort of leaning against Jack, more like Jack was carrying him. They make their way through the front door as i walk towards them.

"what's going on" I asked quietly, looking from Jack to Phil confused. Jack looks back at me with a slightly panicked look before calming himself down again "we, er, we needed a place to stay" he says, looking at me with a begging look in his eyes. I slowly get closer towards him.

That's when I notice

Dean's face is lightly covered in sweat and he has his eyes closed tightly, almost like he's in pain. "what's wrong with...Dean?"

Jack gives me another panicked look before quickly blurting out his reply "He, um, he's tired" I raise an eyebrow as I glance over at Phil, noticing he has the same skeptical look on his face "oh, okay" I respond, moving closer to Phil and lightly taking his hand in his. "you can have the spare room, Chris and Peej are in my room already" Phil said as he gave Dean another concerned look.

Jack quickly rushed to the room, carrying Dean with him. he seemed so distressed, I wonder why? "do you think Dean's okay?" I asked, leaning closer to Phil as I tightly squeezed his hand. "I don't know" he replied simply with a small shrug.

I had this feeling deep down that something was wrong, you know, the type you get when something happens that scares you. I had no idea why though. I mean, it was only Jack and Dean, why would them being here be a bad thing?


	7. Chapter 7

Phil's POV

I'm reading again, but that's not anything new. I've finished four books.

It's been a week.

They're talking, rather loudly, in the room beside me. The lounge - we all spend a lot of time in there. Well, they do, I tend stay in here. In the bedroom that both Dan and I share. It's my own personal 'library', the books that I've saved stacked and sorted. I can't understand what they're saying, though. They left me alone, in this small room, by my own choice, but I can still hear their voices. It's soothing - It's better then silence.

But they're too damn loud.

Though my eyes are on the slight yellow-tinted pages, for the third time today, I'm unable to make sense of the words. I try again.

And again.

And again.

I have another headache.

I place the scrap of paper that I use as a bookmark between the pages to mark my spot and return the book to it's own space.

I stand.

I step through the door, and into the lounge. They're laughing. Well, the most of them. Jack cracks a small smile, but his expression turns serious again. Dan acknowledges my presence with a grin, patting the spot beside him, on the sofa.

I think he's developed a liking to that insignificant piece of furniture.

Just a thought.

I return the grin, collapsing down beside him.

We talk.

I notice Dean isn't with them, but I don't say anything.

Maybe he's tired. He seemed pretty tired when he arrived. I can't blame him, I'm tired a lot, too.

But, interesting plots and characters keep me awake.

I don't mind.

Somehow, the subject of my time in the 'hospital' was brought up.

"So, you're cured?"

Chris.

I nod.

"We're safe? I mean, from the disease. Pyrexia, or whatever it's called."

I can't give him a definite answer.

I shrug.

Silence.

Agonizing silence.

I manage to find my voice.

"Where's Dean?" I ask.

Jack fixes his eyes on me. "Sleeping."

I speak again.

"Is he feeling alrigh-?"

"Yes."

"Jack-"

"He's fine."

"Are you sure-?"

"He's FINE!"

I blink.

Silence.

"You're hiding something." I say after a while, the words leaving my mouth before I could stop them.

"Phil," Dan looks at me, his eyebrows moving closer together.

"What?"

Jack.

A pause.

"Dean. Is. Fine."

I look to Dan, who's starting at the wall. Chris and Peej glance at eachother.

"I'm going to bed."

Of course, it's Jack.

He leaves.

Silence.

Jack's POV

I storm towards my room and throw open the door

A whimper

"Jack?"

My expression softens as I see Dean's face. I sigh heavily and shut the bedroom door. "are you okay?" I ask. he gives me a small nod as an answer. I quickly cross to the bed where I sit down beside him, protectively wrapping an arm around him. "It's going to be okay" I reassure him, gently pulling him closer. He smiles at me weakly

"I know"

I softly kiss his forehead, back away slightly as I feel the heat radiating from it. I move my cool hand to press against his forehead. He closes his eyes in relief and leans into me.

"Dean, you're burning up" I say, trying to keep the panic out of my voice. He makes a sort of humming noise in either agreement or understanding. "I'm fine" he says softly, opening his eyes to look up at me. "I'll be fine" he reassures me. I force a smile onto my face as I look into his eyes.

Soon enough Dean is asleep in my arms. His fever finally lowers as he smiles softly in his sleep. I know we're going to be fine. Dean is only sick, just some little bug, It's nothing serious.

It shouldn't be anyway

we're going to be okay. Everything will be okay. No one is going to die. No one is.


	8. Chapter 8

Phil's POV

Headaches.

I keep getting them, and believe me, they hurt like hell, but I don't tell anyone. I don't want them to worry. Anyways, I'm okay. I was cured. I have to be okay.

Dan is becoming very protective of me. Kind of like how Jack is with Dean.

I remember one time when Dan was in the same sort of situation that I put Jack in, but this time, it was PJ who spoke. I, obviously, was in my bedroom. Reading.

"How do you know that Phil's okay? When was the last time you checked on him?"

That was when I looked up from the pages, put the book down, and listened.

"Does that matter? He's not sick anymore,"

Dan seemed irritable. I could tell by the way we breathed through his words - something that he does when he's angry or annoyed.

"For all you know, he could be dying right now!"

Dan didn't speak.

"He could've easily caught it again!"

"Shup up!"

"You know he could've!"

Dan starting shouting something, but PJ shouted over him.

"And you don't care! You're just sitting around while he could be dead! You're waiting for that, aren't you? One less life to worry about!"

Silence.

It dragged on.

I counted the seconds until a sound was made.

A sniffle, from Dan.

I counted to fourty-seven.

PJ's voice.

"Dan, I'm sorry,"

"Don't talk to me."

His voice cracked.

I quickly returned my attention to the book, when he came into the room.

He checks on me constantly, now.

He now stays with me while I read, he often reads with me.

Sometimes, he reads to me, when I can't sleep.

He occasionally stays awake, even when I fall asleep.

To check that I'm still breathing.

Just in case.

Days passed.

More headaches, that I still don't tell Dan about.

Dean doesn't come out of the room.

I wonder why.

I walk out of my bedroom, and it's dark outside.

Dan had fallen asleep beside me, I feel bad about leaving him alone.

I see Jack walk out of the room that he and Dean share, heading toward the bathroom. He doesn't notice me.

It wouldn't hurt to check on Dean, right?

And so I do.

I slowly step into the room, closing the door behind me, and seeing Dean laying on the bed, his eyes shut and his chest rising and falling at an irregular pattern.

A short breath in, and out. A rather long pause, and another short breath, and it repeats.

I walk over to the bed, and kneel on the floor beside it.

"Dean?"

No responce.

I hear a faint click, indicating that the door has opened.

I hold my breath.

Jack's POV

I walk into the room, sighing heavily

There he is

Phil

Just standing there staring at Dean

"what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Jack asked through gritted teeth.

Phil gulped nervously

silence

"well?"

another silence

"What the hell are you doing in here?"

"I just came to see how Dean was"

"Liar" I growled

He bit his lip lightly.

"It's the truth" he stated clearly

"No, you just want to try make everyone believe Dean is dying" I paused, a panicked look taking over my features "He is not dying, He's not!"

"I'm not Jack, I just" he bit his lip "I just want to keep everyone else safe"

"He's not dying"

"Jack-"

"HE'S FINE!"

There was another silence, only the sound of Dean's breathing could be heard.

"Jack, I'm sorry, but. He is dying"

"No he's not-"

At that moment Dean made a strange sort of strangled noise. My eyes widened as I rush over to Dean's side, clutching the other boys hand

"Dean?"

I ask gently, squeezing Dean's hand tightly

"Dean, please, talk to me!?" I begged, lightly shaking him.

"DEAN!" I screamed, tears pouring down my face now. "DEAN, DEAN, DEAN!" I continued to scream, griping onto Dean's body.

Phil sighed softly before gently placing a hand on my shoulder

"I'm sorry"

those two words

"he's gone"

were enough to kill me mentally.


	9. Chapter 9

PJ's POV

I'm in the lounge, alone.

I usually never leave the lounge, but someone else is almost always with me.

Chris, asleep. Phil, reading. Dan, with Phil - still refusing to talk to me. Jack, well, he's mourning.

I would be doing the same, if I were in his place. If anything happened to Chris... I can't think about that.

I wish I brought my guitar.

I can play a bit of piano.

Before what happened between Dan and I, he was teaching me how to play Für Elise. Now, however, any time I go near the piano when he's around, he glares at me.

I sigh, tapping my hands against my legs, creating an uneven beat. I hum quietly along with it.

I feel guilty. I never meant to say anything to Dan.

I just want things to go back to normal.

I hear footsteps.

It's probably Chris.

"Chri- Phil?"

Phil sighs, sitting on the sofa, where Dan usually sits.

Well, sat. Now he spends most of his time with Phil.

He has a book in his hands.

"What were you reading?" I ask, trying to spark conversation.

He smiles slightly, holding out the cover for me to see.

"The Book Thief." He reads.

"What's it about?"

"A girl."

"A girl?"

He nods. "In Nazi Germany."

"Is it good?"

"Brilliant."

I sigh.

"I'm sorry."

He gives me a quizzical look, hugging the book tightly to his chest.

"About- About the Dan thing."

He looks away.

"He's not exactly happy with you at the moment, Peej."

"I know. I didn't mean it-"

"It's alright."

"No, it's not."

He pauses. "Do you want me to get him? So you two can maybe… work things out?"

I sigh. "Not yet."

He looks at the book again.

"I'm gonna make some tea. Want some?"

I nod.

He gets up, leaving the book behind.

I stare at it, waiting for him to exit the room before opening it.

I begin reading.

'First the colours.

Then the humans.

That's usually how I see things.

Or at least, how I try.

* * * Here is a small fact * * *

You are going to die.'

I read the last line over and over again, when a voice interrupts my thoughts.

"That's Phil's book."

Dan.

I quickly shut it, glancing up at him.

"Hi." I mumble.

"Hey."

He stares at me for a few moments before sighing, and turning to join Phil in the kitchen.

Dan's POV

What the hell was PJ doing reading Phil's book?

If he hated Phil that much why was he reading Phil's book?

"He's going to hurt your precious Phil"

The voice was back. It was telling the truth. PJ did want to hurt Phil. I know it.

Why else would he hate Phil so much?

"Dan, you okay?"

I snapped out of my daydream to see Phil giving me a concerned look.

"yeah, I'm…fine" I assured him quietly. I move to beside him, helping him prepare the cups of tea. As I go to grab a tea bag my hand touches the new, shiny silver gun that lay on the work surface. The government had made it a law since the break out that every household must have at least one gun to protect themselves.

I will protect Phil from PJ no matter what happens.

Jack's POV

He's gone

He's really gone

Dean, my best friend and loved one. Gone

Forever

I sighed heavily, lightly running my fingers over the blankets where he lay only a couple of days ago

I guess I should have been expecting this, I mean, he was sick…I should have known.

I wish I could have helped him, even a little. He didn't deserve this.

I know it sounds sort of over dramatic, but, I don't think I can live without him

I loved him, I really did. I just wanted to save him.


	10. Chapter 10

Chris' POV

I toss and turn, unable to fall asleep again.

I had a nightmare - I have them a lot.

PJ dies in a lot of them.

This time, it was Phil.

In the dream, the sun was just rising, all of us - Me, Dan, Phil, PJ, and Jack - were in the middle of an unknown city. People were turning, and everywhere that served as a shelter was locked. We were trapped, in a sense.

We all thought that we were safe, until Phil collapsed, and chocked out "Run."

Everyone ran, but Dan and I.

Phil changed, right in front of us.

Even though it was a dream, it seemed all too real.

I stared up at the ceiling for a while, trying to block out my thoughts, to no avail.

I step silently out my room, the slight change of temperature making me shiver.

I hear Jack crying.

I prentend I can't hear it.

I hear voices in the kitchen, but in my tired state, I can't make out who they are or what they're saying.

I run a hand through my hair, which is knotted and messy, but I couldn't care less, absently walking into the kitchen.

"Chris." Phil murmurs, smiling at me.

I rub my eyes, when I notice Dan.

I look away quickly, hoping that the 'fight' between him and PJ wouldn't result in him hating me, too.

"Hello," Dan says with a friendly smile, raising a mug to his lips.

I stretch my arms out, yawning.

"Hm, I feel like hell."

My voice echos, and I see PJ darting toward the kitchen, and standing in the doorway when he sees Dan.

"You're awake,"

PJ.

"Mmhm," I hum with a small nod.

I watch as Phil hands PJ a mug. I'm guessing tea.

PJ glances from me, to Dan, to Phil. He closes his eyes, walking back to the lounge before I could say anything else.

"I think I'm gonna check on him." I shrug.

Dan sighs.

Phil sips.

I leave.

Jack's POV

I can't do this

I really can't

I'm sitting with my head in my hands sobbing, what I hope is quietly. I don't want to bother them.

I don't want to be a burden to them anymore

What do I do though?

I sigh shakily as I manage to stop my sobs. I stand up slowly, making my way towards the door. I open it

Chris

"hey"

I mumble a small hi, keeping my eyes on the floor.

A pause

"I miss him too"

I look up to see Chris giving me a sympathetic look.

Anger

"No you don't"

His expression turns to hurt

"Jack-"

"No"

I say as I push past him, not caring what room I end up in, as long as I'm away from him. Sure he knew Dean, they did a video together once, but, No one knows Dean the way I did. No one loved him like I did.

Tears escape my eyes again as I lean against the wall.

That's when I realize

I'm in the kitchen

Several thoughts cross my mind as I look around the room through my tear filled vission

Food

Knifes

I stare at the next item

A gun

I slowly make my way towards it, picking it up and turning the small silver item over in my hands.

"Jack, I'm sorry, just-"

I hear Chris say, stopping dead as he realizes I have the gun in my hands

"What are you doing with that?" He asks in a calm voice

I give him an annoyed look back. Does he really think I'm going to kill myself?

…should I do that?

He gives me a more worried look as he looks behind him, almost like he's looking around for help

His help arrives

PJ walks in the room

He looks between Chris and I, a look of fear soon taking over his features as well

"Jack"

He says softly

"put the gun down"

"no"

They glance at each other, swapping worried looks.

"Jack, please"

Chris tries this time, taking a small step towards me

"No"

I say louder, raising a shaking hand to the side of my head. I trace my finger over the trigger, staring straight ahead

"Jack, please don't do this, please"

I smile softly at them

"why, nobody wants me. Without Dean, I have no one"

I grip the gun harder, my knuckles turning white

"Jack, please!"

Chris shouts, tears forming in his eyes

"goodbye"

A bang

Darkness


	11. Chapter 11

Chris' POV

Numb.

I feel a mix of feelings, but I'm just going to label them as numb.

When Jack shoots, PJ turns away so he doesn't see.

I, however, can't move.

Almost like I'm frozen, but I see him look directly at me, then...

It happens.

As he falls limp to the ground, along with the horrible thud that sounds with it, he's gone.

PJ pushes past me, and I feel dizzy.

I'm going to be sick.

I run to the bathroom, and I'm soon hovering over the toilet.

I shakily push away from it, crawling backward on the ground before my back touches the wall. I bring my legs close, wrapping my arms around them. I didn't even notice I was crying until I felt tears drip off my chin.

I can hear their voices - Dan and Phil ran back into the kitchen as soon as they heard the gunshot.

I hear a faint ringing.

I'm shaking, I have a disgusting taste in my mouth, and I just saw one of my friends kill themselves.

But, I can't bring myself to go out there.

I just sit in here, trembling and feeling unmistakably numb.

Phil's POV

I enter the kitchen seconds after Dan.

Blood.

So much blood.

Dan turns to me, "Phil," he whispers.

I look past him, at Jack, lifeless yet still bleeding on the floor.

"Phil," he repeats, "Go back to the lounge,"

I look at him.

He speaks again.

"Please, I don't want you to see this."

I take one last look before squeezing my eyes shut and heading back.

More days pass.

I have constant nightmares.

The books aren't helping as much as they used to, but I still read.

More headaches, that I finally tell Dan about.

Once I told him, he stared at me for a long time, before pulling me into a hug.

Every time I felt the slight need to pull away, even though I didn't really want to, Dan held onto me.

I'm fine.

I think Dan is starting to believe otherwise.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm not fine.

Dan's POV

So we moved

We're now in this little cabin on the outskirts of town. It's pretty here, kinda helps me forget about everything that's going on. Phil suggested we move to here. He said it was safer than the apartment and would get us away from everything. I guess we did need to get away from that place. After seeing two of our friends die. There is one thing I'm still worried about though.

Phil

I'm scared, actually, really scared. I don't want him to end up like Dean, or I might end up like Jack. I can't live without Phil. I just, I couldn't do that. Everyone seems to be happier here. Phil's kinda quiet but…he's just being Phil.

"what if he's not fine?"

The voice again

It's been saying quite troubling things recently.

"you know I'm right though"

Shut up, I don't need to listen to you

"oh but you do, I'm the only sane one here"

Shut up!

I growl softly at the voice, making my way through the cabin. Just sort of aimlessly walking.

Something white on the table

I walk over to the table

It's paper

Not just paper, a note

I gulp

From Chris

I read over it quickly

Dear PJ

I'm sorry, but I have to go. I can't stand this anymore. I don't want to see anyone else die. I want to stay with you, believe me, I really do. But, I can't. I don't want to see you get hurt, to see you pass away. I can't do it. I'm so sorry. Just remember

I love you, so much

I always will

I'm sorry

Chris

I just stare at the note for a few more seconds before it sets in

Chris left

We need to find him

I quickly run into the lounge, finding both Phil and PJ there. I decide to address Phil about this. I still don't trust PJ.

Not at all

"Phil"

He looks up at me, a concerned expression crosses his face.

"what's wrong?"

"It's Chris"

"What?"

PJ is now looking at me, I'm not sure what that look is.

"he left this"

I give the note to Phil, letting him read it. Phil looks across to PJ then hands him the note, letting him read it.

"we need to find him"

PJ stands up, looking at Phil. I don't trust that look. I don't want him looking at my Phil.

Phil looks thoughtful for several seconds before speaking again

"Dan, go with PJ to look for Chris"

PJ gives me a small smile but I just glare back at him.

"you can't trust him"

"I know"

I mumble quietly, agreeing with the voice

I can't trust him, I can't trust anyone


	12. Chapter 12

PJ's POV

I keep getting glares from Dan.

I've noticed Phil has distanced himself from me, too, but at least he's there.

He's the only one I have left.

Phil convinced Dan to search for Chris with me. Dan was, obviously, reluctant, but agreed.

And, so we're walking.

I have Chris' note in my pocket, it's the only thing I have of him, other than bittersweet memories. Dan let me keep it - and for that, I am thankful.

We're careful not to touch too many things, or get too close to anyone, even though London is, basically, abandoned.

Before we left to go to the cabin, and before Chris left, he and I watched the news for the first time in a while.

America is in the same position, but it's a lot worse. Less than a quarter of their population is left.

We search, until the sun starts setting.

We start going back to the cabin, both of us silent.

I drift off into my thoughts when I hear him mumbling. I convince myself that it didn't happen, until I hear it again.

"Did you say something?" I ask him, glancing over at him, hoping my tone was as friendly as possible.

He looks to me, too, his eyes slightly wider than usual. He shakes his head.

"No," he says simply, looking at the sky.

I follow his gaze - it's rather clear. Stars are visible. I smile to myself, when he mumbles again.

"You're mumbling," I inform him, putting my hands into the pockets of my hoodie.

"No, I'm not."

I shrug, when he does it again.

"Dan,"

"I'm not mumbling."

A pause.

More mumbles, that I can't make out.

I decide to leave it there.

Silence.

We're almost back to the cabin, when I get to courage to speak again.

"I'm sorry,"

He shrugs.

"I didn't mean it."

Another shrug.

His voice pierces through the silence.

"Sorry about Chris,"

I sigh.

When we arrive, I step through first, my face hidden behind my hair.

Phil has a hopeful look, but it falters as Dan shuts the door behind him.

"Didn't find him?"

Phil.

Dan shakes his head.

I realize that Chris could be gone, too.

I put my hands over my face, and let myself cry.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, Phil's.

I can't sleep.

I result to staring at the ceiling, my thoughts managing to wander to Chris.

The main question I keep asking myself is; is he alive?

I listen to my own steady breathing, until I finally fall asleep.

Dan's POV

We're out looking for Chris again

Phil said we should go look

I did as I was told

PJ is with us

Phil has the gun gripped firmly in his hand, ready to kill when needed

"you should take that gun and kill PJ now, you can't trust him"

"No"

I growl at the voice

Phil looks at me, his expression turning to worried as he hears me growl at the voice.

"did you say something Dan?"

Silence

"Dan?"

"no"

I answer quickly. I tell the voice to be quiet, making sure I don't speak out loud.

We continue to walk for a good fifteen minutes more then

A groan

We all stop

PJ looks towards the noise

Phil takes my hand in his, squeezing tightly as he keeps still

PJ walks towards the noise

Phil takes a step but I pull him back slightly, tightening my grip around his hand

"what's wrong"

"I don't trust it"

Phil gives me another worried look before giving me a reassuring smile

"It's fine, come on. We need to stay close to PJ"

I sigh softly before nodding at him, taking a step in the direction PJ went in. we keep walking until we see PJ. He's just standing there

Motionless

"Peej, are you okay?"

Phil asks, walking a little bit closer

Than I see it

What PJ is staring at

Chris

I gasp softly, taking in the sight before me.

"you're going to die"

The voice tells me, almost mockingly

"we need to go"

I say quickly, tugging at Phil's hand as I back away

"Phil is going to die as well"

"no"

"he is, you're all going to die"

"NO!"

I scream, staring at what, I can only say, used to be Chris

Phil looks at me, squeezing my hand tightly

Chris, or more, this, creature, moves towards us. He has dark bags under his eyes, his clothes ripped.

He's infected

I back away faster, dragging g Phil with me.

"Peej, get away from him"

Phil says desperately, gripping the gun tightly

PJ just smiles

"Chris"

He says almost happily

Is he insane?

Chris is going to kill him

"PJ get away from him now!"

PJ takes no attention, holding his arms out to this monster

"Peej!"

Phil makes a final attempt at trying to tell PJ to move.

He's ignored once again

Phil desperately lifts the gun, shaking

He aims

A shot

A thump

A cry


	13. Chapter 13

Phil's POV

I shoot.

Time seems to slow, everything suddenly becoming confusing.

Chris, or what used to be Chris, drags himself in attempt to stand, before he slips, landing on the ground once again.

He stops struggling, his decayed body twitching a few times before growing still.

I stare, when I hear PJ's voice.

"You..." he trails off, obviously shocked, before speaking again, his tone being replaced with anger.

"You killed him!"

I snap my head up to meet his gaze, and he's advancing closer to me.

"You fucking /killed/ him!"

"But, I-!"

"You!" he shouts in my face, shoving me backwards, "Killed!" he pushes me, causing me to stumble back, but catch myself before I fall, "Him!"

I feel Dan's hand grab my wrist, pulling me away from PJ. He steps in front of me, shielding me from him.

"Don't. Touch. Him." Dan growls, glaring at him.

Dan turns to me, returning his grip on my wrist. "Come on,"

He begins walking in the direction of the cabin, not glancing back at PJ.

He drags me along, and I look back at him.

He's kneeled beside Chris, saying something, but from this distance I couldn't hear him. I watch him stand, shutting his eyes and looking away, before running to join us.

He walks behind us, his face tear-stained.

Dan knows he's there, but doesn't say anything. I hold onto him tightly, afraid to let go.

I have another headache.

Dan's POV

"He's going to kill Phil"

"shut up"

It's talking to me again

I'm talking back to it

Out loud

But it's okay, Phil is asleep beside me. He can't hear me.

I wrap my arms around him tightly, smiling softly as he hugs me back, making a small contempt noise in his sleep.

Everything's fine

I can hear PJ sobbing in the lounge, he hasn't moved from that spot since he got back

That was hours ago

He's still there, crying, mumbling Chris' name over and over again

It almost makes me feel sorry for him

But I don't dare actually feel sorry for him

The voice is right

PJ is going to hurt Phil

He tried to hurt Phil before, he's going to do something bad

"He's going to kill Phil"

I tense up

"no…"

I whisper softly

"yes, he is"

"shut it"

I mumble at the voice

A noise

PJ is moving, he's heading towards this room

The door opens

He glares at Phil with blood shot eyes

"he killed him"

I glare back at him, tightening my grip around Phil

"go away"

"he killed him"

He repeats

"I said fuck off"

I growl, raising my voice

"stay away from Phil"

He just shots me one last look before turning on his heel and walking back to the lounge.

I sigh

The voice is right


	14. Chapter 14

PJ's POV

I miss him.

It's only been a few hours, at the most.

I've always been one to hide my emotions, but my ability to hold back the tears is getting weaker by the minute.

I don't know who to trust anymore.

I'm unbelievably tired, but I'm too afraid to sleep.

I'm afraid to do many things.

The image of Chris is permanently burned to my thoughts.

He didn't deserve to die like that.

I would do anything to see him again.

But, of course, that can't happen.

Because Phil killed him.

Anger.

The thought of Phil sends rage coursing through me, resulting in me hurling my pillow at the wall. A small, muffled bump sounds from it. I want to be louder, but I can't. I tangle my hands through my hair, clutching at it tightly in attempt to calm myself down. I almost punch the wall, but as my fist speeds toward it, I remember that they're probably sleeping in the room beside mine.

I freeze.

I crumble.

Sadness.

I bend down, my own heartbeat thumping loudly in my ears, and pull the pillow up to link my arms around it. My vision blurs and my throat tightens, but I have to be strong.

For him.

Loneliness.

Fear.

Broken.

Numb.

Dan's POV

I had just managed to fall into a light sleep when I hear a small thump.

Something hit the wall

I freeze

What could it be?

A small sob

It's PJ

Of course, his room is just there after all

I want to go back to sleep but I can't

"you can kill him now"

"no"

I grumble, closing my eyes

"come on, he'll be most venerable now. You should do it"

"no"

A small groan

"Dan? Are you okay?"

Phil's awake

"yes"

"who were you talking to?"

"no one"

"Dan"

Silence

He sighs

He thinks I've got back to sleep

He isn't wrong, I am very tired all of a sudden.

"let's get him Dan"

I get out of bed

Walk towards PJ's room

Open the door

There he is

"Dan?"

Silence

"I'm going to kill you"

"what?"

"I'm making him kill you, you can't stop me"

I say it in a tone I would never normally use

A laugh

Almost insane sounding

Is this me? Or is it that annoying voice?

"Phil, Help!"

He shouts loudly, backing up against the wall

I feel a large smirk cover my face

Phil comes in

"what's wrong?"

PJ looks to me, a confused expression covering his face as I blink innocently at him

"It's nothing"


	15. Chapter 15

PJ's POV

"It's nothing."

I'm shaking, but through the darkness, I don't think they notice.

Phil just looks from Dan to me, before leading Dan out the room.

Silence.

I stay completely still, half-expecting him to come back.

To be honest, I'm parinoid.

I hesitantly stand, rushing over to the door, and locking it.

We weren't supposed to lock the doors, in case something were to happen, but I can't help it.

I don't feel safe.

I'm not saying that I ever did, though.

The disease is spreading.

Officials who are to kill the ones with the disease before they turn are lacking - the inhabitants of the disease not realizing that they have it, and turning much quicker than expected. Death rates have gone up significantly, the portion of London that remains is decreasing.

That scares me.

I've been sobbing, not so silently, in the lounge.

I've finally got the courage to come out of my bedroom, yet the new found fear of everything outside the room preventing me to stay calm.

I hear footsteps.

For a moment, I think it's Chris.

Then I remember.

Phil's POV

Some things I notice:

A broken PJ,

A blood red sunset,

The occasional hoot from an owl,

And death.

I've now come to accept that we're going to die - not that I want to, but I don't want to fight it anymore.

I'm growing weaker.

The struggle hurts.

I'm not afraid of dying.

That's a lie; I'm only trying to convince myself.

Another headache, one which isn't going away like the others.

I can feel my head thumping in time with my heart.

Despite the pain, it's reassuring.

I'm not dead yet.

The book I have pressed to my chest is shaking.

Actually, that's just me.

The shaking has become so routine now, that I almost don't notice it.

There are times when it becomes too much, where I can't even make a simple mug of tea without Dan's help.

It hurts him, too, I know it does.

I hear a sniffle, and I realize that I've been staring.

He's just so...

Alone.

I feel bad for him, no matter Dan's protests.

"Peej?"

I whisper, hoping not to scare him in case he didn't notice me.

I also used the nickname, something that I haven't done in a while.

"Leave me alone,"

I look away, before stepping closer to him, and he looks up at me.

"Get any closer..." he warned, his voice trailing away.

I froze, gripping the book.

Shakily, I took another step forward.

"Peej, I'm sorr-"

"You're not sorry. And don't call me Peej,"

That hurt a lot more than I expected it to.

I just stare.

He doesn't meet my gaze.

"I'm reading another book,"

He glances at it.

I begin reading the title, when he gently took it out of my hands.

Silence, other than the flipping of pages.

He appears to be reading.

"You killed him," he mutters under his breath.

I'm tired. I'm weak. I'm dying;

So I just accept it.

Another turn of a page.

"You killed him," he repeats.

I can't deny it.

"You're not sorry,"

"Peej-"

"Don't call me Peej."

Another page.

He places the thin paper between his fingers.

He pulls.

A small rip.

"You're not-" he states, his tone cold.

He pulls harshly, the words once part of a storyline that was my only form of escape - floating to the floor.

"Sorry." he finishes.

He starts again.

"You."

He punctuates the word, with another rip.

Multiple pages at once.

"Killed."

I watch as the previous fall, only to be followed by more.

"Him."

He almost tore more out.

Until I lunged for the book - I can't just watch him do this.

I almost had it, then he tossed it across the room, hitting it against something hard.

I hear the sound of breaking glass, right after the sound of the book meeting the floor echos.

He pushes me away, standing up.

"He was already dying," I explained calmly.

"And so are you!"

A pause.

I see Dan in the corner of my eye, then he vanished.

"Chris was turning, he could've hurt you-"

"When you turn, you could hurt us!"

"I'm not going to turn-!"

"You're dying!"

He raises his hand, like he's about to hit me.

I see Dan return, he's holding something.

"And when you turn - I'll kill you, like you killed Chris."

That's when I see it - a gun.

Dan holds it to the side of PJ's head.

"Okay," Dan mumbles, nodding slowly, like he was agreeing to something. His eyes were distant, almost like he wasn't aware of what was happening.

I look into PJ's eyes.

Panic.

Confusion.

Relief.

And, in that one second, I realize something;

Life itself is a nightmare,

And the only way to escape is death.

A gunshot.

A thud.

Then, he's gone,

And I'm left staring straight ahead,

But I know one thing for sure;

I'm not afraid of dying.

Dan's POV

A thud

I blink

"You killed him"

The voice is back

"No"

"you killed him, you killed your friend"

"No"

I let the gun fall from my shaking hands

"You did"

"NO!"

I scream as I fall to my knees

"Your just like them, a murdering machine that doesn't care about anyone"

"NO NO NO NO!"

I grip my head harshly

A sob

"You deserve to die"

"I didn't mean it!"

"You did"

"I was protecting Phil, You told me to!"

I scream, tears dripping down my face

Then I remember

Phil is still here

"Make it go away"

I whimper, curling into a tight ball as I grip my head harder

"Please"

Another whimper

"Make it stop"


	16. Chapter 16 -END-

The virus wrought havoc across planet earth. Named for the fever that marks the onset of the sickness, Pyrexia transforms its victims into mindless beings trapped somewhere between death and hell - passing on didn't end their suffering, merely prolonged it. The un-dead have since roamed the earth, hunting mercilessly for any warm blooded thing they can get their hands on, ripping people - and lives, apart as they go.

The year is 2021. Less than an quarter the world's population remains. Those who've survived this long now face the task of not only battling the dead outside their doors, but, as rebuilding becomes more and more of a priority, having to beware the living they're sharing shelter with, as well.

As the nights get longer and the days grow shorter, they soon realize that supplies are running low and chances of survival are decreasing.

Everyone is dying

And nothing can be done about it

Everyone has given up, the weak dying from lack of nutrition - or maybe from the cold, only to be brought back and create more problems. They welcome death now.

This is hell on earth

Out of the six that remained; the two sickly are dead. the three moderately healthy, also dead. They lived only for the sake of the others, only to die at the hands of their so called friends.

The last that was slowly spilling into insanity. What happened to him?

He's gone. He's completely insane

He kills to please the little voice in his head

He killed everyone. Everyone he ever cared about.

Apart from one

The one boy who seems to now be immune to death

The boy who lives with the virus but can't turn or die

Stuck in his illness ridden body until he's put out of his misery

The boy who could be the cure to all of this

Or the boy who could be the leader of these monsters

Who is he you ask?

The one boy?

The answer is simple

Phil Lester


End file.
